I was raised listening to grandparents, parents and all uncles and aunts of how much they disliked tattoos and how they had a low impression of those that dear to have one. I hear my parents all their life describing tattoos as disgusting and degrading but those were different times. I was just a confused child that followed by example, but now almost 20 years old I realize that times has changed, We now live in a society where getting one’s own choice and no one elses. Tattoos are not for old “Navy Men” anymore but they are a sign of individualism and happiness.
Who are we to oppose that??
Inorder to overcome it you will have to bite your tongue or at least, just try to understand why that person wants the tattoo. If in a relationship like my case, You’ll drive a huge wedge between the two of you otherwise. And is it really worth it just over a tattoo? Is it really that big of a deal? Do you want to put a strain on your relationship over something as small and trivial as a tattoo?
In my case, to be honest, I was wrong and too stubborn, even though I coming from a place of love, I had to understand its Her Body, Her choice and Her Life, even if i do care, love and respect her. She is free to do what she wants, regardless of people’s opinions. (including mine own). Views may differ and might even cause fights. I know its her body and Im just looking out for her. She is mistaking my concern for criticism rather than love.
I Had time to think to myself and I came to the realization that I need to open both my eyes and mind to understand her and her choice. I have no idea what a tattoo means to her and failed to care. I came to learn that It’s not just a silly drawing on somebody, it means much more than that, a lot more than you can type, it’s almost like a piece of their soul, it’s a part of who they are. I know some people are never going to like tattoos and that’s fine, totally fine but I don’t have to judge and criticize people who like them and have them. This was seriously a life lesson to me.
But how does one change one’s view???? without the support of others, I would say near impossible. Raised to instantly denote Tattoos to have a negative connotation, breaking that conditioning by myself will be alot of work but in the name of love anything is possible. We all need that love and support and that come in relationships. And right now I need it more than ever. I want .. no I need to change not just for her, but to become a better person. I never really did notice how much I judge people until recently. I hate that, I was always a hypocritical ass, but failed to realize it.
I must smash through the self-imposed boundaries I have created in my mind, with abandonment, even if it means it’s lunacy that finds me - if I am to change the way I think and feel about this, I will have to go through some craziness and conflict, maybe even struggle with it, but I will be telling myself it’s worth it and need someone(her) to see an option I cannot readily see myself.
Feelings and emotions are the absolute truth - they occur within prior to any words that express them - yet even when those words come and conveyed, they are a faltering dilute version of the hard & fast reality going on with feelings and emotions….
…But some words a person says, a thing that they do may easily challenge the inner truth - this is where the damage to my relationship occurs, while I will always love her - I could just loosen my moral grip and accept it with a final gesture of my heartfelt longing to remain together, permit it with affectionate and caring contact. Im sorry
Sigh
You know what, sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I went to Brown. Yet I never regret going to Davis, the things I wonder about at 4 am.. The week of finals, what if I made the wrong choice?
